Some parents deeply love their children — and still struggle to respond in emotionally steady ways.

They may have:

• Avoided difficult conversations

• Become defensive when you expressed hurt

• Made your feelings feel inconvenient

• Needed you to be the mature one

Not necessarily intentionally or maliciously.

But consistently enough that you adapted.

You may have learned to:

• Stay composed instead of honest

• Manage their emotions before your own

• Earn approval instead of expect support

• Shrink your needs to keep the peace

And those patterns don’t disappear just because you’re an adult now.

These early dynamics don’t just affect your relationship with your parent.

They often shape how you relate to everyone.

You might notice anxiety that feels hard to explain.
Perfectionism that feels self-imposed.
People-pleasing that makes it difficult to ask for what you need.
A tendency to over-function so no one else has to.

What once helped you adapt may now be exhausting you.

Naming What Was Hard

Some people use the term “emotionally immature parents” to describe caregivers who struggled with accountability, emotional regulation, or empathy.

That label may or may not feel right to you.

What matters more is this:

If you had to become the steady one too early, something in you didn’t get to fully be a child.

And that deserves space.